Tuesday, 1 December 2015
Peaks and troughs!: Anxiety!
Peaks and troughs!: Anxiety!: anxiety noun 1 . a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. "he felt a surg...
Anxiety!
anxiety
In the past year I have gone through a number of traumatic personal experiences that are not related to the Osteoporosis but, and I will admit, was pretty concerned that the stress and upset of the experiences would have a major impact and even negatively reversing effect on my bones.
Stress as we know is a major issue as it effects cortisol levels which in turn knock your hormones out of sync, which effects your stress coping mechanisms, as well as numerous other reactions like getting snappy, tired, short tempered, resigned, disconnected, forgetful, intolerant, short attention span.
So what is it with the Anxiety then? I rarely suffer from anxiety, but I did much earlier in the year and it was at times rather terrifying. The thing about it is that you go in circles so you stress yourself more, because you know you are anxious and then that exacerbates the situation. Shortness of breath, tight chest, feeling hot and cold, panicky, unreasonable, sometimes palpitations as you are trying to sleep as your heart seems to be galloping like a horse round a course - hell for leather! Insomnia can kick in, brain whirring, a feeling fear and foreboding but you aren't sure what about, its like an every present black cloud just about or near you, lurking in an ever lingering ''Im going nowhere'' ominous kind of way. Shrugging off that cloud is tough. It takes calm, support, love, reassurance, someone to believe in you, but it also take you the sufferer to actually sit down and really look at what it is thats bothering you!
I had to force myself to sit down and write a list! I wrote - in fact it sort of spewed on to the page - all the things I was worried about, but then something more came out, things that I really didn't want to admit to myself let alone anyone else, and thats when I knew that I had hit the issues! Anxiety is often derived from those darker fears, the ones that go against your true self, against your gut feel. These are the nub of the issue and until you can identify and face these the anxiety can't be released or dealt with or faced up to!
Its funny, whenever I have done anything in my life that was truly against my gut feel and against what I personally call my 'true north' - my inner self and belief system and guiding hand, I have battled with it, reasoned with it, justified it, persuaded it and trying to purssuade myself, yet it grows stronger and more deliberate like a bear banging the cymbals beside your head - it jolts you, your body vibrates and your head is ringing.........the inner knot solidifies inside you, and then clenches as it grows.......you get a tightness in the throat, and a sick feeling, your head feels fuzzy, panicky wobbles start to sweep through your body, sometimes tears and uncontrollable crying ........so why oh why do we fight this stuff! ITS NOT A GOOD FEELING. It also drives an adrenaline style shock through the body as you try to regain control again.........maybe its this that we use to move us forward, but what ever it is, when you suddenly realise what is the actual core ball of anxiety causing all this, its both terrifying and a relief.......
So I Wrote that list, and then I wrote the stuff underneath that list, and underneath that - its what in NLP terms we call chunking down, or peeling back deeper and deeper to find the root cause.
I had to make some decisions about whether ignoring the gut feel and that 'thing' was something I could carry on with. It seemed like a huge wall, built all around me, but then a small brick seemed to slip and then another and bit by bit they were crumbling down. Now Im not saying that any of this process was pretty, or happy, or in any way a good place to be, but the anxiety knot was easing - I was taking control again, of my own gut feel, and allowing it to steer me back on track again........pointing me back to true north.
There are a few techniques I used to help me and they are pretty simple:
BREATHING- Everyone talks about breathing, but this really does work (I took a few classes in Hatha Yoga to learn how) and that identified for me an easy way to control the feeling as it was welling up. Meditation is also good for balancing your breathing and centring yourself to restore a bit more calm.....
DANCING - yes - this might seem a mad one, but if you have ever watched Greys Anatomy you'll know what Im on about when you're having a truly rubbishy shitty day and your person pulls you up to your feet, sticks on the cheesiest tunes (I find Living in Electric Dreams is an instant winner!) and you dance - who cares how or what you look like, but damn it works, you are so busy bopping about that you sort any sense of anxiety with a shot of endorphin, silliness and by getting out of breath, your brain is now focusing on that and not that thing you're anxious about! - ok so this won't resolve anything but it gets rid of that nasty rising feeling dealt with.
WRITING THE LIST - and then the other lists - dont worry you dont have to share them! but by writing it down it really helps clarify where its coming from. It may be rational or irrational fears that you have grown up with..............things like NLP timeline therapy, tapping and hypnotherapy can often help with dealing with and releasing some of those!
DO ONE THING - take one thing on the list, it doesn't matter how small it is, but go and deal with it! Get it done. Because feeling overwhelmed is all part of it, and by doing even one thing, it is reshaping the issue to something more copyable with and you can break it down bit by bit!
Anxiety is also something that OP sufferers feel - they can be anxious of falling, leaving the house and hurting themselves, breaking something from lifting, or twisting..........this is a rational anxiety, as its well founded in sufferers and is a very real risk; but where we have to be careful is that the more we focus on some of these things, the more likely they are to actually happen - WHY - because when we get anxious we tense up, and when we tense up, our body is not flowing freely and our limbs aren't swinging the way they were designed - this can put us off balance and cause a fall.........
I found this article below recently and wanted to share as its a really great thorough summary of how to support someone with Anxiety. and lots of great insights too.........
http://curebank.info/13-things-to-remember-if-you-love-a-person-with-anxiety/
noun
- 1.a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome."he felt a surge of anxiety"
synonyms: worry, concern, apprehension, apprehensiveness, consternation,
uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, fear, disquiet, disquietude, perturbation,
fretfulness, agitation, angst, nervousness, nerves, edginess, tension,
tenseness, stress, misgiving, trepidation, foreboding, suspense;
Stress as we know is a major issue as it effects cortisol levels which in turn knock your hormones out of sync, which effects your stress coping mechanisms, as well as numerous other reactions like getting snappy, tired, short tempered, resigned, disconnected, forgetful, intolerant, short attention span.
So what is it with the Anxiety then? I rarely suffer from anxiety, but I did much earlier in the year and it was at times rather terrifying. The thing about it is that you go in circles so you stress yourself more, because you know you are anxious and then that exacerbates the situation. Shortness of breath, tight chest, feeling hot and cold, panicky, unreasonable, sometimes palpitations as you are trying to sleep as your heart seems to be galloping like a horse round a course - hell for leather! Insomnia can kick in, brain whirring, a feeling fear and foreboding but you aren't sure what about, its like an every present black cloud just about or near you, lurking in an ever lingering ''Im going nowhere'' ominous kind of way. Shrugging off that cloud is tough. It takes calm, support, love, reassurance, someone to believe in you, but it also take you the sufferer to actually sit down and really look at what it is thats bothering you!
I had to force myself to sit down and write a list! I wrote - in fact it sort of spewed on to the page - all the things I was worried about, but then something more came out, things that I really didn't want to admit to myself let alone anyone else, and thats when I knew that I had hit the issues! Anxiety is often derived from those darker fears, the ones that go against your true self, against your gut feel. These are the nub of the issue and until you can identify and face these the anxiety can't be released or dealt with or faced up to!
Its funny, whenever I have done anything in my life that was truly against my gut feel and against what I personally call my 'true north' - my inner self and belief system and guiding hand, I have battled with it, reasoned with it, justified it, persuaded it and trying to purssuade myself, yet it grows stronger and more deliberate like a bear banging the cymbals beside your head - it jolts you, your body vibrates and your head is ringing.........the inner knot solidifies inside you, and then clenches as it grows.......you get a tightness in the throat, and a sick feeling, your head feels fuzzy, panicky wobbles start to sweep through your body, sometimes tears and uncontrollable crying ........so why oh why do we fight this stuff! ITS NOT A GOOD FEELING. It also drives an adrenaline style shock through the body as you try to regain control again.........maybe its this that we use to move us forward, but what ever it is, when you suddenly realise what is the actual core ball of anxiety causing all this, its both terrifying and a relief.......
So I Wrote that list, and then I wrote the stuff underneath that list, and underneath that - its what in NLP terms we call chunking down, or peeling back deeper and deeper to find the root cause.
I had to make some decisions about whether ignoring the gut feel and that 'thing' was something I could carry on with. It seemed like a huge wall, built all around me, but then a small brick seemed to slip and then another and bit by bit they were crumbling down. Now Im not saying that any of this process was pretty, or happy, or in any way a good place to be, but the anxiety knot was easing - I was taking control again, of my own gut feel, and allowing it to steer me back on track again........pointing me back to true north.
There are a few techniques I used to help me and they are pretty simple:
BREATHING- Everyone talks about breathing, but this really does work (I took a few classes in Hatha Yoga to learn how) and that identified for me an easy way to control the feeling as it was welling up. Meditation is also good for balancing your breathing and centring yourself to restore a bit more calm.....
DANCING - yes - this might seem a mad one, but if you have ever watched Greys Anatomy you'll know what Im on about when you're having a truly rubbishy shitty day and your person pulls you up to your feet, sticks on the cheesiest tunes (I find Living in Electric Dreams is an instant winner!) and you dance - who cares how or what you look like, but damn it works, you are so busy bopping about that you sort any sense of anxiety with a shot of endorphin, silliness and by getting out of breath, your brain is now focusing on that and not that thing you're anxious about! - ok so this won't resolve anything but it gets rid of that nasty rising feeling dealt with.
WRITING THE LIST - and then the other lists - dont worry you dont have to share them! but by writing it down it really helps clarify where its coming from. It may be rational or irrational fears that you have grown up with..............things like NLP timeline therapy, tapping and hypnotherapy can often help with dealing with and releasing some of those!
DO ONE THING - take one thing on the list, it doesn't matter how small it is, but go and deal with it! Get it done. Because feeling overwhelmed is all part of it, and by doing even one thing, it is reshaping the issue to something more copyable with and you can break it down bit by bit!
Anxiety is also something that OP sufferers feel - they can be anxious of falling, leaving the house and hurting themselves, breaking something from lifting, or twisting..........this is a rational anxiety, as its well founded in sufferers and is a very real risk; but where we have to be careful is that the more we focus on some of these things, the more likely they are to actually happen - WHY - because when we get anxious we tense up, and when we tense up, our body is not flowing freely and our limbs aren't swinging the way they were designed - this can put us off balance and cause a fall.........
I found this article below recently and wanted to share as its a really great thorough summary of how to support someone with Anxiety. and lots of great insights too.........
http://curebank.info/13-things-to-remember-if-you-love-a-person-with-anxiety/
Monday, 23 November 2015
progress and next steps
And also a quick update. Last November I was back at St Marys for a check and review. Dr Cox was still thrilled with the progress I have made, but there had been a slight decline in some of my core readings. Needless to say we are talking 0.5 to 1 point difference which actually as an average is not so bad.
My pelvis is still pretty poor, with reading still in the Osteoporosis zone lingering around - 2.8, however parts of my spine and other areas have increased into Osteopoenia at around an average of -1.8. So I have managed to move some bones back in to a 'condition' and no longer a disease.....whilst pelvis and lower spine are still osteoporotic, but MUCH LESS breakable. Its overall good news, and he believes that for my case, Im generally out of the danger zone for regular breaks, (especially from a hug) and that I can live an unbridled and full life. This is AWESOME news.I carry on with life as normal. The main this is Ive got over my fear of participating and continuing with a normal life.
I have been skiing again, Im going ice skating this week, I run, I walk, I swim, I dance! I might not ride a horse seriously again (animals have a tendency to be unpredictable and a fall from there is much greater risk!) but Im not stopping doing anything. When I saw Professor Fogleman way back about 4 years ago - the key specialist in Osteoporosis in Europe, he was also very pro and extremely clear that your positive state of mind and continuing to do things that make you happy plays a large role in managing such a disease and not giving in to it - all those happy endorphins do us a world of good!
So what have I done to achieve my turnaround:
1) I continue with a VERY large focus on an alkaline diet. (I've just got back from an alkaline diet retreat in Turkey to give myself and extra boost before the winter - see pic!)
See http://www.betterbones.com for more information on this from a leading US doctor on this. Its under the alkaline diet and ph balance section in bone health articles.
2) lemon water and/or raw cider vinegar (2 tablespoons/ pint of water) on a daily basis instead of normal tap water......this helps keep acidic balance in your body where it should be!
3) regular exercise - walking, a bit of jogging, swimming and general activity. When Im not active EVERYthing starts to really ache and often my fibromyalgia returns. Muscle maintenance is key to managing both fibromyaligia as well as bone support.
5) lots of fresh vegetables - top 5 are kale, broccoli, avocado, quinoa, rocket (cut back on spinach!)
and included walnuts and almonds as good alkaline sources of protein. Additionally less meat generally but lots of fish and white meats (organic where possible)
6) continue to see my Chinese acupuncturist! and
I continue to work on positivity, mindfulness and deflecting bad people and bad karma.
7) Stress levels as low as possible. the amount of research out there that outlines just how bad cortisol is for your absorption and update of calcium is incredible.
8) daily auto-immune green shot - I use a good one from the local Healthfood shop, its packed full of chlorella, wheatgrass, omegas and all sorts of super foods. this is not only to boost immunity during the cold season, but it helps keep me strong and when its cold we all know how fibromyalgia can worsen. this is dramatically reduced for me taking these daily does of green stuff.
9) I stopped taking DEPO PROVERA (go google it - it has a black box warning and it shouldn't in my opinion even be an option as a contraceptive) and nor do I now take any form of contraceptive - it seems that my body is particularly susceptible to the hormones, which get ticked out of balance and are a huge nono for me! they exacerbate my condition! - maybe you could get yourself checked if you are pre menopausal and still taking contraceptives - My endocrinologist was the key to me discovering this........ (top tip!)
10) I do what makes me happy. - this is key to our general state of mind. If we just stop doing everything of fear for ourselves and wrap ourselves in cotton wool then our minds close and depression can set in. Keep doing what makes you happy, its good for the soul, and general well-being!
I of course continue to take my VIT D (20000 ui) and calcichew as Im not allowed to take anything else - Im avoiding the big drugs as they will effect my day to day quality of life but also my ovaries, and I still hope to have kids one day!
So happy days. Yes I still get pain, I do everything I want within reason and not so risky, but I have fun, I live! I re-found my smile and I look after my body - after all its the only one we have!!!
In print!!
Its been a while since I last posted and a lot has happened. Doesn't time fly.
I have been focusing on trying to share my story out to others in the aim that there is a hopeful message to those all suffering 'the silent disease'
So now on to TAKE A BREAK- I got on to the Front Cover YAY! You can see it on the shelves now - WINTER 2 edition!
Through the National Osteoporosis Society(NOS) I was put in touch with a journalist who over the past 2 years has worked with me to find a publication that would really spread my story wide and try and give may out there HOPE... to tell them they aren't alone. to tell them that we can do stuff to help our diagnosis, to share my crazy story of 21 broken ribs in 9 months and prove that there is a way to rebuild from that and that we can help ourselves. Its also my way of reaching out and getting the awareness up on the silent disease, that ISNT just an older persons disease - it can affect people from all ages!
Tomorrow Im going with the NOS to hobnob with MP's at Westminster - yes thats right at the actual Houses of Parliament, to increase awareness with them so that we can talk to them about some of the NOS survey recent findings:
o A third of people had broken several bones before being diagnosed
o 39% of respondents prompted their own bone health assessment
o A third of people were not satisfied with the current level of monitoring and review of their osteoporosis
o Only 22% felt the NHS gives osteoporosis the level of attention it deserves
We are asking them to:
Help promote Fracture Liaison Services and the resources available to develop them
Keep in touch with the Charity to find out whether there is an FLS in your constituency and how you can help locally
Ill keep you posted on how that goes!
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