getting motivated....its a bit of a battle!

My last update was all about how I was inspiring myself to get with the programme  - Rehabilitation Programme Sal -  RPS!) -  literally and get my body back, rather than trying to avoid the issue and pretend that its not really happening to me! And Im not just talking about whipping some of the lumpy bits into shape, although that is needed, its more about the fact that my body keeps doing a big fat fail on me and its getting rather annoying if Im honest! I am a bear with a sore head when the pain is bad and makes me want to lie down and just give up and sleep sometimes! I am this polar bear and my RPS is the penguin! I guess we all need a way of motivating ourselves dont we? a pair of symbols over my head might serve the purpose quite well it has to be said!

So yes, the swimming continues, but not managed quite the 2 a week that was intended. The massages have slipped due to various work pressures and frivolities concerning our Queen! and then the pilates centre ended up doing some special offer that utterly kiboshed my plans as they got swamped with people with vouchers and i couldnt actually book any sessions! so the last month has been a bit of a disaster. Im still doing a forest gump walkies style though so that has been keeping the butt moving! the outcome. BODY FAIL. pain levels back through the roof, painkillers back up to 30mg codeine. Im dammned then if i do and if I dont. It hurts if I do exercise and it kills if I dont. The first is definitely better than the second! and I have to do it if I want any kind of life and mobility in the coming years......

so I started some personal training sessions..........a specialist osteoporosis trainer who properly understands the bodies muscle systems, bones, the diet required, the stamina and most importantly has now started to instruct me on what I should and should not be doing exercise wise. so here is the depressing bit! None of the following:

• running, jogging or boxing  -  basically anything with impact! -  all too high impact 
• no sit ups or crunches
• no rowing -  back strain on my spine!
• no planks or side planks
• certain stretches are out!
• no work involving lying on my stomach, so superman stretches are out too! (pressure on those fragile little ribs again!)

......... the list goes on, and to think that all of that was standard only about 18 months ago when doing my Kilimanjaro training!

....in time my muscles will strengthen and my core will get better and then some of the above will be possible again, but its a bit of a set back again.

so I am doing:

• arm weights -  but low as if I try and carry too much then I bugger my back again and too much spinal pressure -  its all about the reps and low weights again now!
• lunges and squats, 
• uphill fast walking!
• powerplate stuff!
• swimming and running in water! (it really does work)
• pilates
• Im gonna give golf a go too! (christ doesnt life change! I mean golf -  cummooonnnn!)

Ive committed to 10 sessions with the PT to get me going. if I dont literalyl have someone watching and counting me through I start wanting to cry -  I know its all a bit pathetic, but the ability to get positive sometimes is just too much, and thats when not being sure what is good and whats not, is a bit terrifying. Add to that that im constantly monitoring if something hurts or not and therefore trying to find the levels and the number of reps and pressure etc of each exercise progress it really is pretty slow. And having always been super active and sporty is very frustrating, but of course not insurmountable. Like all of us its a matter of persevering and keeping going, and each little step is a step towards progress. I have broken one of my middle toes over the weekend -  really not sure how, but Im still breaking it seems -  thankfully this is just one little pig on the end of my foot so not crazy painful like the ribs!

I know people out there have a lot worse to contend with I really do, and Im not trying to overegg my stuff - these are just my little battles one step at a time. I know from Kili we can always achieve way more than we think and its largely about not giving up and the power of the mind to push us through. Im drawing down on that again now. Im tired, Im a bit emotional and its all hurting quite a lot, but who knows where I will be in a couple of months time........