Of late Ive had another of those troughs that I go on about, and so "Rehabilitation Programme Sal" (RPS) was started about 3 weeks ago. As I said in my last post, I have chosen to take control of this quagmire ;-!
I joined the gym, and tentatively started a programme of movement that whilst a bit scary - I can still break pretty easily and am technically still healing, and as you know, still have all the pain to contend with - its a catch 22 situation if I dont!
The more I 'rest' the more I become a slug. This means that my muscles support me less that creates a vicious circle of pain and frustration. I cant move due to pain that means that to exercise is more painful, Im damned if I do and if I dont! But I took the bit between the teeth and started a programme of movement! RPS as Im calling it!
So Ive been swimming a lot. 60 lengths each time I go. (its a shortish pool so not quite as impressive as it sounds) I swim pretty well so its about half an hour. More than that and the rib pain gets beyond a level that is copeable, but already after 7 sessions I can feel the difference in the spasm in my back and muscles in my intercostal ribs. My Chinese doc has even commented on how much better my back seems! I will get faster and just add more lengths in that half hour as I get stronger. My arm muscles are returning already and my legs feel flexed!
Im doing PT sessions also with a specialist in Osteoporosis, so once I ahve got a bit stronger generally we are starting a programme of weight bearing exercise, lunges etc that will strengthen and tone. Kat has focused on diseases like this as they are increasing and so many people have ligament, muscle and back injuries and the rehabilitation treatment is pretty similar to what I require!
I have also got a bunch of Pilates sessions booked in, the best and one recommendation that actually all my specialists agreed with. The reformer is thought to be a good lesser impact way of building muscle and strength and possibly at some point increasing a little of my desperately absent bone mass!
Im having 2 massages a week and an hour of acupuncture! its lovely so I feel pretty pampered, but its also really helping the general pain management - I highly recommend it! i got a bulk package so the cost is pretty reasonable, even if whilst it feels a little extravagant, I also know that I simply could not work like I am at the moment and live a more normal existence without it! strange but true! and frankly I think its a pretty damn great excuse to justify having a back massage, head massage and reflexology combo every week! yeay!
I have also been hit by the bug going round - a hacking chest infection for which Im now ringing out to the sound of 2 more drugs - co-amoxiclav and doxycycline, so hopefully they will treat the chest and I can get on with the next level of my RPS! its a bit worrying that the scale of my cough right now could in fact crack a rib so Im being a little bit precious about it, but hey - I really cant cope with more breaks right now, I want to keep the run of months with out a break in the black and not the red! Its been since September so im on a new record!
Im also going to try and swap my wine habit for a vodka or spirits one. They are infinitely better on the hangover front and much less fattening, but that can wait until post antibiotics!
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Friday, 4 May 2012
life is like........
....have you ever been stressed or upset and you find yourself doing something quite unexpected? Im talking about doing a Forrest Gump and running when you previously hated it, or baking cupcakes when you have never whipped up a batch in your life, or starting to doodle something having hated art at school, singing, dance, smoking, I dont know what, Im sure the list is endless.
Well, when I was getting divorced about 4 years ago I found myself having a Forrest moment.....running a LOT! It was therapeutic. When I got stressed about it all I'd throw on my trainers, hook up to the ipod and run. Now, Im no marathon runner, really, and I still have no ambition whatsoever to do one. This was just running wind, rain, sun and snow! and yes I got fit, slim and found that the natural endorphins were doing me the world of good!
A few years on, and another round of challenges, and Im running again. Well I say running, its more of a fast walk right now, given my bones and pain and all that stuff, but Im pounding the streets all the same. Im walking to and from work - 50 mins each way! Im hiking the streets again come rain or shine and its sort of strangely clearing the horrid fog in my head that has descended in the last year. And yes - in truth it is REALLY helping. Must be all those endorphins again! and the fact that Im actually able to walk and move this year in contrast to the complete disabled state of last!
You have to take control in order to stop feeling like the victim and as we all know we have a choice in everything, whether its sticking out a bad relationship, being nice/ nasty to someone, taking that job, quitting that job etc etc.......of course you cant control what others say or do to you, but you can control how you choose to react to them. That has been a tough one for me recently, having been ostracized by a bunch of friends on account of apparently being honest about how I felt about something that was in fact really upsetting me. I know we are English and therefore it is law that even if someone is rude, unkind or insensitive that apparently we absolutely come-what-may NEVER actually tell them how they are affecting us, we must keep that stiff up lip and simply zipit! I didnt do that and hence my issue - I broke the law!
I was finding that I was increasingly upset and stressed, really upset and distraught. Increasingly paranoid that in some way Im just some terrible person and Ive clearly done something awful to have been punished not only by a lifelong condition being thrown at me, but to then double up on finding people adding their own form of judgmental punishment on top - just to add cream to the pie! But as I said, it all comes down to how you choose to react to that, that and accepting that I had a choice or not in the first place as to whether I tell the person how they were affecting me! I can (choose to) be the victim, and I was definitely feeling it. I can also decide that actually those that treat me like that are either so un-self aware, are very aware of what they are doing or simply not the friends I thought they were, especially if tehy stop talking to me on account of that! (that last one is the toughest actually to deal with, and acknowledge - especially when they are the people you spend the most time with and have shared private thoughts, time, holidays, weddings etc with) I can only hope that it isnt that last one! Really!
Anyway, I deviate, I was stressed and upset. My plug hole was sucking me down. I was circling rapidly towards an unspeakable place........just like when I was getting divorced and was starting my life again. I had left a home, all my belongings and had to start from scratch back then and I remember feeling the same sense of panic then as I have done of late. What will the future bring, can it get better, who, how, what would come along? And that was when I started running! My feet just carrying me along. This time its pacey walking! It clears my head, it lifts the fog, it raises me out of that navel gazing that we are all prone to doing when down in the dumps! The endorphins are going again and Im feeling more positive. There is no real change in the stuff that triggered this, but I can but hope that its a phase! Im choosing to get on with things, its the best I can do! actually its the only choice I want to make!
So I joined the gym - Im swimming 3 x a week. Im walking and Im doing pilates! RPS has kicked in, the butt is being worked, the muscle memory is kicking back in! And Im pulling a Forrest Gump. so if you dont get an answer on my phone, Ill prob be out having a walk!
What was it that Forrest said? "Life was like a box of chocolates ....You never know what you're gonna get......" In short - you can always choose!
Well, when I was getting divorced about 4 years ago I found myself having a Forrest moment.....running a LOT! It was therapeutic. When I got stressed about it all I'd throw on my trainers, hook up to the ipod and run. Now, Im no marathon runner, really, and I still have no ambition whatsoever to do one. This was just running wind, rain, sun and snow! and yes I got fit, slim and found that the natural endorphins were doing me the world of good!
A few years on, and another round of challenges, and Im running again. Well I say running, its more of a fast walk right now, given my bones and pain and all that stuff, but Im pounding the streets all the same. Im walking to and from work - 50 mins each way! Im hiking the streets again come rain or shine and its sort of strangely clearing the horrid fog in my head that has descended in the last year. And yes - in truth it is REALLY helping. Must be all those endorphins again! and the fact that Im actually able to walk and move this year in contrast to the complete disabled state of last!
You have to take control in order to stop feeling like the victim and as we all know we have a choice in everything, whether its sticking out a bad relationship, being nice/ nasty to someone, taking that job, quitting that job etc etc.......of course you cant control what others say or do to you, but you can control how you choose to react to them. That has been a tough one for me recently, having been ostracized by a bunch of friends on account of apparently being honest about how I felt about something that was in fact really upsetting me. I know we are English and therefore it is law that even if someone is rude, unkind or insensitive that apparently we absolutely come-what-may NEVER actually tell them how they are affecting us, we must keep that stiff up lip and simply zipit! I didnt do that and hence my issue - I broke the law!
I was finding that I was increasingly upset and stressed, really upset and distraught. Increasingly paranoid that in some way Im just some terrible person and Ive clearly done something awful to have been punished not only by a lifelong condition being thrown at me, but to then double up on finding people adding their own form of judgmental punishment on top - just to add cream to the pie! But as I said, it all comes down to how you choose to react to that, that and accepting that I had a choice or not in the first place as to whether I tell the person how they were affecting me! I can (choose to) be the victim, and I was definitely feeling it. I can also decide that actually those that treat me like that are either so un-self aware, are very aware of what they are doing or simply not the friends I thought they were, especially if tehy stop talking to me on account of that! (that last one is the toughest actually to deal with, and acknowledge - especially when they are the people you spend the most time with and have shared private thoughts, time, holidays, weddings etc with) I can only hope that it isnt that last one! Really!
So I joined the gym - Im swimming 3 x a week. Im walking and Im doing pilates! RPS has kicked in, the butt is being worked, the muscle memory is kicking back in! And Im pulling a Forrest Gump. so if you dont get an answer on my phone, Ill prob be out having a walk!
What was it that Forrest said? "Life was like a box of chocolates ....You never know what you're gonna get......" In short - you can always choose!
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